Collectives and Care
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you may have noticed that there’s a new KLE Collective website. Since growing from a tiny bunch of 20 in 2018 to the almost 100 strong group we have now, watching KLE blossom and grow, and getting to be a part of that, has been a source of constant pride and joy for me.
As the landscape of sex worker advertising gradually becomes more and more hellish - platforms owned by shady companies, charging us more and more and more for crumbs in return with no accountability - it feels genuinely important to be part of something which is focused around community rather than profit. I am so proud that KLE has never been a for-profit venture - it exists to benefit the community rather than line the pockets of someone who couldn’t care less about our well-being, and this is (one of the reasons) why I love it so much.
This has fostered a sense of genuine care amongst the members, and through being a part of KLE, I’ve met some of my favourite people in this industry. Colleagues becoming close friends, people I can share tips, tricks and more with. People who I can turn to for support, and who can do the same with me. However, I’d also be remiss if I didn’t emphasise that it’s also just been a lot of FUN. Some of my favourite memories from the past few years are with the babes of KLE, and so with that in mind, I’d like to reminisce about a few of my favourite moments from the KLE archives.
Breaking the bed at the first group photoshoot (and then having to call my appropriately sexy carpenter friend to come and fix it…)
Picture the scene - our very first group photoshoot day. Chaotic, stressful, but so much fun. Louisa has just licked peanut butter ice cream off my ass (a story for another time), and we’re finishing up the very last shoot of the day.
Several of us are posing glamorously on the bed, limbs entwined. We suddenly hear a horrible crack, and the bed lurches to the side, collapsing under the weight of our collective hotness.
Naturally, we panic - it’s an Airbnb, I’m fairly sure we’re already violating several terms and conditions with some of the things we’ve done today, and truly the last thing we need at 8.30pm is a broken bed. Thankfully at the time, I was carrying on a scandalous affair with a carpenter, who received an extremely panicked phone call from me asking if he could help.
Our angel in steel capped boots, he left drinks with friends to come and fix the bed, soothe my nerves and generally save the day. Our Airbnb reviews remained at a consistent five stars, and the pictures from that day were stunning.
Chatting to two very glamorous ‘accountants’ with Amelia L at a social, convinced they were using it, as so many do, as a cover for our line of work…before realising they were just….very sexy accountants
Fast forward a few years to our infamous office themed photoshoot. We’d finished for the day, and headed to a bar for a much needed rose or three. Amelia Laurent and I were waiting to order and noticed two extremely glamorous women perching on bar stools next to us. Never ones to miss the opportunity to speak to beautiful women, we struck up a conversation.
Eventually we asked what they did for work, and they told us they were accountants. Ohhh, we say, nudging each other and winking exaggeratedly, us too. We’re all accountants here!
At this point, I need to highlight this trend - in many online spaces, ‘accountant’ has become synonymous with ‘sex worker’. Perhaps it was the free-flowing wine, perhaps it was the flashes of red from their Loubs, but we were absolutely convinced they were escorts, and continued with the conversation under this impression for about five minutes until one of them asked Amelia L which of the Big Four she worked for.
We slunk back to our table, shamefaced - a lesson learned, some real accountants are just very hot!
So many duos, trios and a particularly memorable KLE foursome which involved Ivy Grace eating oysters out of [redacted’s] [redacted]
This foursome will live in my memory for a long time. Organised by one of my favourite clients as a birthday celebration for me, it brought together three of KLE’s finest and one very brave and generous man. If you’ve never shucked an oyster in a dungeon, you haven’t lived. And if you haven’t watched Ivy slurp one from a very unique human serving platter, then you really haven’t lived.
By hour six we’d all descended into total debauchery, fueled by very good champagne, lust and a sheer determination to use every single piece of equipment in the dungeon. The session ended with us all genuinely a little broken in the very best way - whilst we perhaps won’t repeat it soon, it was truly one of the most unhinged, horny, filthy and downright fun days I’ve had in a very long time.
Getting to be surprised over and over again by just how many unbelievably sexy babes there are in London (and beyond)
What is there to say, really? Every time a new member joins, I’m just blown away by the existence of so much collective hotness. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to call these people my colleagues and my friends.
I can’t wait to see where KLE goes next - and I can’t wait to make even more memories. And if you’d like to help make them, I suggest you reacquaint yourself with London’s finest.